Thread 3: because the island has a sense of humor he'd rather do without (mr_neutral)

[stalkerwithacap]

[He's standing in front of a certain beach house, with a package in his hands]

Comments

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

We were just--talking. And he was going on about his life being all written ahead anyway and how it was useless and sounding like he'd just do it and let go or something...
Made me mad, so I tried to convince him he could do better, that fighting was better than letting them step over you even if you lost-
And out of nowhere he kissed me. Guess I had it coming, must've sounded pretty carpe diem back there, I don't even remember what I said.

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

[This face.]

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

And it just-- went downhill from there I guess. Couldn't make myself push him away. Wanted to show him some things in life were fucking worth it, or-
_{I don't even know anymore.}

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

Yeah that's...pretty stupid. What happened afterward then?

1/2

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

[little snort] I'll spare you the details. Anyway the next morning Ears turned up. Somehow he didn't kill me and then N woke up and they left.

2/2

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

[and he's not crying, but with the way his chest is working it's not too far from it]

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

[That puts him on edge. Instead of saying anything or even moving he waits for them. He's bracing]

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

[somehow he manages to hold them off, but his voice is raw]
I just wanted to give him a bit of happiness. And now Ears probably hates me and--
Fuck it's not like I have tons of friends I just can't lose these two.

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

Wait wait you need to calm down a second.

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

[trying to breathe deeply]
Sorry.

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

No, don't apologize. Just iron this out here first.

He just left or did something happen before he left? How did he react?

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

Just- got dressed, thanked me and left.
[bitter chuckle]

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

....[Eyebrow raise] There's a reason he did that. You just have to confirm it for me: What did he say to you, beforehand.

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

Beforehand?

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

Before that happened. When he initiated it. N always does things in steps and vocally. It's a weird habit of his.

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

... Just said he wanted to feel. After that nothing much. Just said to continue whenever I thought it might be a good idea to stop.
...
_{Look, I know it was just that.}

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

And that was after, anyway. Before kissing me he... really didn't say anything.

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

He still said what the purpose of it was. When accomplished he left.

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

I know. [sigh] I'm stupid but not that stupid. I got it.

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

So why is it causing you so much heart ache.

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

Because I'm afraid of losing two of my best friends over this and because somehow I got things mixed up half way.

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

What got mixed up? N seems unaffected.

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

I got mixed up. He's all right I think.
[chuckle, a bit helpless]
Thank god he's all right. Don't know what I'd have done if I'd messed up for him on top of that.

[mr-neutral.livejournal.com]

He's not not that simple. As protective of him as everyone is.

[stalkerwithacap.livejournal.com]

Yeah I'm the only stupid one in this. I get it.
... Ears is so pissed at me you have no idea.